70 – The emotions of Project Restore Me…

15 08 2010

So I am back at what I would call my ‘usual’ weight. The weight I have been more or less since college. I should be happy with that, right? Well, I am. I’m happy that I have made it to there, but – I’m not happy enough. I wasn’t happy with how I looked and felt then, so why should I be happy with it now? So – I am happy that I am on this journey, and that I have been making this much progress.

I have been struggling a lot with the nutrition part of my plan, but I know that that part, especially, is a journey – a trip – a time to learn about myself, and a time to go through a lot of learning about food. It has been super interesting so far. I still have some cravings for some bad stuff, but for the most part, my cravings are changing. Some of the foods that I used to crave, or that I just needed to hear the word, see or smell the food, or see an advertisements in order to want it for dinner that night, don’t even look or sound appetizing anymore. The biggest one that I’ve noticed, is pizza. No longer sounds appealing. I don’t want it. Which is good, because they have wheat and dairy – both of which I am trying to stay away from. It is really quite great!

So – I know that I have made huge strides with my diet so far. And I need to keep making those strides. I am really looking forward to doing another elimination diet (I know, that sounds so weird!), and learning more about myself and my food.

Now – the exercising – the CrossFit – on the other hand! It is awesome! I am seeing such amazing gains. Today, I decided to try working on my pull-ups. If you remember, one of my goals of this project is to do my first pull-up. My first real, strict pull-up. I can’t wait to do it, and I don’t think it’s that far off! I have three bands, exercise/resistance bands, that are made specifically for this kind of thing. The sizes – L, M, S. Imagine that! Well, I’ve been using the large one for the last two months, and havae been improving greatly. It has been wonderful to see the gains. So – today I decided to test myself and see how I’ve been doing. I tried a real push-up – no help. Didn’t work. I am still really weak on the bottom – that’s my weakest point. I need to keep working on that bottom initiation. But – then I went up to the small band. I stepped into it, and it didn’t feel like there was any resistance there. My first thought – no way am I going to be able to do this – this is no help at all. Well, I did it! With breaks between reps, I did eight of them with the small band! I feel sooooo good!

I love that I am starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin, and that I am not having those days where I don’t even want to step outside because I feel so bad about myself! Yay for loving myself!




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