133 – Mistakes…

17 10 2010

We all make mistakes right? Thats what I believe.

Well – I have definitely made mistakes in my life. I made a few this week for sure. First – I made myself this awesome chocolate truffle dessert that I was so happy was on my diet. Talking to my sister today, she made me realize that we aren’t eating dried fruit, and one of the main ingredients is dates. It didn’t even cross my mind. Thankfully I think they freeze well! Oops!

Second – I have made a huge mistake throughout most of my adult life. That is not trusting my body, and not listening to my body. I have been letting my sub(and un-)conscious take over in regards to food. Not all the time, but a lot of the time. I have let myself eat and eat and eat without paying attention to the reasons that I was eating. I have let myself eat when I am not hungry. I have let myself eat more because I’m sad, because I’m happy, delirious, scared, emotional, mad. You name it! I just go into auto-pilot and eat. Anything and everything. The more the better. I usually regret it later, but I still let myself do it. Why? Because it soothes my subconscious in some way. At that moment. But it never really gets rid of the problem that needs soothing. It just creates another problem – weight and body/image issues – so that I can forget about the other one, and have something else to focus on.

So – my focus now is going to be really focusing on the foods I am eating, and why I am eating them. Making sure to listen to my body and not let my autopilot eater take over. Can I do it? Sure. Is it going to be hard? Definitely. I think the hardest part will be to be present with those emotions once I encounter them. But – I think this is also the only and best way to really resolve these issues once and for all and to get my eating and cravings back to normalcy.

Good luck to that!

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