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14 11 2010

I read the most amazing quote today. I am reading a book by Geneen Roth. If you ever get a chance to read her books. I highly recommend it. Her insights are amazing, and I feel like they have really been helping me on this journey. So – without any further ado, here is the quote.

“…the bliss that occurs by arriving where you are. When we are not reconstructing the past in every nanosecond, what is here is so satisfying, so loving, so unbelievably simple that once tasted, it changes everything. Because then you know what’s possible and you refuse to settle for anything less.”                       – Geneen Roth, “Women, Food and God” p. 154

I read this quote and I had to put the book down. I had to sit there and think about this and absorb it. It makes so much sense. I try very hard to live in the moment and not dwell on the past, but I also realize that there are parts of me that never give that up. And that shows up in how I eat, and in what I crave.

I know I have mentioned before about how I cannot stop myself sometimes when I am eating. I am full, but I convince myself that I should eat as much as humanly possible just in case. I am realizing that this is a product of the past. The”just in case” part. Just in case: I don’t get to eat at this restaurant again (ever, this year, this week…), I don’t get to eat later today, I am hungry later, I go through a period of hardship (that hasn’t happened in eons…) and I don’t have food available to me. I am living in a world of just in cases… I know that this is from growing up. There were times when we did not have tons to eat. We always ate, but sometimes it was powdered milk in lieu of real milk, or stuff that we grew or hunted in the woods, because we couldn’t afford to go to the grocery store.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually remember these events very fondly, and love that I grew up with the family and circumstances that I did. But I know that on a sub-conscious level, this really affected my eating habits. Now I just need to learn how to stop living in the past, and live in my current situation where I know that I am well taken care of, and that we do not need to worry about not getting enough food, or not being able to return to a restaurant, or eating more of something “because I don’t get it very often”, when in actuality, I really do.

Not sure how I am going to tackle this one yet, but I will make it!

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One response

15 11 2010
Rissa Ree

Right there with ya sistah! That’s a big one and one that requires continual awareness on our part. We are so blessed to have the childhood we had and the family we have – no blame or shame there at all. So why the “just in cases”? Who knows? And maybe it’s better if we don’t know. We don’t have to figure it all out, we just have to let go and flow with change! 🙂
Here’s to us! Cheers!

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