250 – Binges and scariness

10 02 2011

I have been ignoring my body and my blog the last few weeks. I have been overeating, eating a lot of dairy, a lot of sugar, and not near as many fruits and veggies as I normally do! I feel like I have gained about 10 pounds in the last 3 weeks, and I am really scared to step on the scale and do my measurements… which was supposed to happen today. I will do it in the next day or two, but I have to get my nerve up to do it!

I feel large – I am having a hard time looking in the mirror and being happy with myself. I find myself going into my head and ignoring my body when it tells me how I am really doing. 

I have to try to stay positive and keep reminding myself of all that I have done, and even if I have strayed a little and gained a little of the weight back, I just need to get back on track and I will be back to my healthier, happier weight! I have been doing great with staying gluten free, and feeling really good about it too! I just need to get the dairy out of my diet again! But the biggest one is the sugar. That is super hard right now too, because I am about to teach my first gluten free baking class so I am reworking and testing recipes. And the class is going to be on chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. ARGH!!!!

I know that I am still doing a lot better (and feeling and looking a lot better too!) than I was back in June last year when I started this, but it is hard to see myself fall back into some of the old habits that I had before this started… like getting a hot chocolate every time we stop at a coffeeshop, which sometimes can be two or three times a day (okay – that is pushing it), but I swear I’ve probably drank at least one hot chocolate every day for the last 3 weeks. I know that hasn’t helped. Just the sugar alone is horrible, let alone the dairy or soy and all those extras!

But – back on track! I can’t wait to start eating healthier again, exercising more and listening to my body again – instead of overeating, eating foods that my body doesn’t like, and gaining weight and losing fitness! I am back on track… loving life and loving myself!

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