All or Nothing?

18 09 2016

I have always been an over-achiever. I want to do everything, I want to be good at everything, and I over-tax myself constantly. In the last few years, I have noticed this getting even more honed. I’m not just an over-achiever anymore, I now am in the mode of ‘all or nothing’. I don’t like it. It isn’t healthy, and I’m really struggling to get out of it.

What does this have to do with Project Restore Me? Well – since I had my second baby (and probably before that, if I’m honest with myself), when I start to work on myself, I have to do it all, NOW! I start watching how I eat, I get going on exercising, I take my supplements, don’t forget about sleep, and meditation, and, and, and… If you can read between the lines, you see that it is really easy to get overwhelmed using an all or nothing approach. I do really well for a week or two, then I have a rough day, and it all goes out the window. Because… why? Because… I didn’t do everything one day, so obviously, I failed, right. I suck. I’m no good. I can’t do it. I’m a failure. Right?

Well, no. I’m not. And I need to see that. I need to own that. I need to accept that it happened, and move on. Move forward. And not only that. I need to be realistic. I am a stay at home Mom of 2 kids under 4 years of age. My husband travels a lot for work, I have a 2000 square foot garden, I have chickens, ducks and bees to take care of, along with a dog and cat. I run a homestead. I live off-grid. I can’t do it all. It isn’t possible. But I can do my best in that moment.

So – these last 5 days, since I have recommitted to Project Restore Me, have I done it all? Nope. And I started feeling like a failure. I haven’t been on top of my way of eating. I have taken my supplements about 1/2 the time. I have been horrible about sleep hygiene, and my self-care practice is laughable. But – I have gotten in 3 workouts. After not working out for months! So – I am calling that a success.

And this coming week. I have decided I am focusing on one thing. Yes, I will work on all aspects, but if I don’t fully succeed in all of them. That’s okay. My goal is to focus on one, do-able thing that will have a huge impact. And what is that, you may ask? Sleep hygiene! More on that in the next post.

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